In My Lungs I've shed a lot of water over you - I never wanted to watch you die i had love and farewell in my lungs, but then the light left your eyes How does one prepare for an out of body experience? How does one prepare for this? I replay that last week with you over and over in my head I watched you survive when others would surely die I thought of the days when everything was vibrant and yet, I do not have a vivid memory of you healthy You never complained And I truly think you were in control the entire time— You were never afraid of death, it was inevitable cuz life is temporary now I only dream of you, you haunt me in my sleep but you're not dreaming anymore, I know; empty eyes can't see me—I know I've never been afraid to cry, and I'm crying more than I'd like to admit Better days will come but I don't feel any closer to you here How does one prepare for this? How does one prepare for this? I was wrong when I said I'd be over this by morning - I was wrong there's not enough of me to go around these days - I was wrong. I was wrong. I can be vulnerable, I can be a lot of things— I feel your pain today I still feel you inside of our godawful house but I don't feel any closer to you; And I guess if there's one thing I regret, it’s how selfish I had been all those years Only thought of myself when I had years to prepare for a loss like this No one envies this, no one envies me No one envies this, no one envies me I must forgive myself and be proud I'm still here, Carrying on your memory — carrying on your memory You weren't perfect but you were there for me You weren't perfect but you were there for me How does one prepare for an out of body experience? How does one prepare for this? How does one prepare for an out of body experience? How does one prepare for this? your bones were done for, we left you alone you finally let go, you finally let go I don't feel any closer to you here

Out of fear showed up to a wedding dressed for a funeral, listening to bring me the horizon — trying to decide whether the new songs were as good as the old songs trying to understand why anyone makes such drastic changes in their lives but with age comes maturity — with growth comes compromise with access comes responsibility with education comes a voice what we do with this voice is important how we develop and evolve our voice is pivotal to our influence on others It’s all interconnected and essential to success the future is not guaranteed the future is not promised the future is in crisis the future is unknown today is what concerns me And that’s what fucks me up the most Today is melting at a rapid rate within a fire we cannot contain we do not have the resources - we do not have the time And it feels like we’ve lost our chance to save ourselves we keep breaking down out of fear for our future Out of fear of missing out Out of fear Out of fear Out of fear comes insecurity Nothing new is learned out of fear Out of fear comes more fear Nothing new is learned out of fear you ever see a tow Truck towing another tow truck? well, it’s sorta like that when i break down, i seek another broken person to drag me around someone who understands where i’m coming from, and knows where i’ve been but i often fear this reliance comes off as a burden i’ve never wanted to be a burden even though i know how much patience it takes to simply be around me those who i’ve loved and those who i’ve hated All tell me I’m not a burden but I’ve recently struggled to trust that that’s true i faithfully insist that i do not exist - the future is unknown And I think I like it that way I’m becoming more comfortable with what I cannot control So I’m giving up my control and learning to let go I’m learning that someday none of this will matter And that someday I’ll be gone - someday I’ll be gone And I think I like it that way With growth comes the future we are not promised With growth comes an attempt to change the course of that which we are not guaranteed That was two ways of saying the same thing - but at least its an option of perspective And my hope is that we’re allowed to hold multiple perspectives in the future Because as it stands today, I’m not sure we will be able to even think without fear Nothing new is learned out of fear Nothing new is learned out of fear Nothing new is learned out of fear Nothing new is learned out of fear